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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24047377">origins of a knight</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoilingHeart/pseuds/BoilingHeart'>BoilingHeart</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sunblade Archives [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>World of Warcraft</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Anandor Lighttreader, Dana'thor Dawnstrider, Death, Driana Falconsong, F/M, Mild Gore Descriptions, Neo'la Sunblade, OCs - Freeform, Seaandra Sunblade, Syan Sunblade, Unhealthy Mindset, suicidal implications</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:54:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,170</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24047377</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoilingHeart/pseuds/BoilingHeart</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>short flashes of the life and unlife of seaandra sunblade, paladin, death knight, and commander</p><p>written for discord, each chapter is brief and unformatted and experimental, but it covers my beloved oc's entire life in brief flashes</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sunblade Archives [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1734691</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. sunblade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>x</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>a child, born of a great bloodline, rightfully destined to wield the Light with honor, to carry her name and prove her worth</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but she’s deemed undesirable. a delicate thing, the smaller of a set of twins. her father made note : ‘ she should never see the light of day ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but that she did, anyways, and she’d find the Light in more ways than one .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>doomed, she is, to walk in the shadows of her family. weak, feeble, delicate, unworthy, they called her — the sunblade goes to her sister, the mantle of paladin to her sister</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ do not weep, seaandra , ’ minerva comforted her during her first breakdown . ‘ priesthood is just as beautiful, you can still learn the Light, you can still feel its grace . ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but that was never the problem, the young child thinks, but lacks the words to articulate. it’s about the feeling, the thought of being unworthy. of being judged so soon, without chance to prove herself</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she MUST prove herself</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>what love and care her sister has, to recognize the unfairness early on. to abscond the high honor she was given, for being stronger, capable, bigger than the other twin — to make mockery of herself and her own worth, so as to give seaandra a chance at proving herself</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>to cast oneself in shadow, so the other may shine</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>seaandra learns to shine, oh, she learns to shine</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>a knight in shining armor</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>gleaming, glowing, vibrant and beautiful. she wears a smile on her face, bearing the crest of her family</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she is worthy. the sunblade is in her hands, she wields the weight of her family, carries the name, and represents the extension of her blood, how far they have come, and what valor she will bring as she becomes a full adult, with new adventures in store</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and yet, and yet, her father’s eyes do not shine. they look down on her, like a child playing dress up, like a child who, innocently yet effectively destroyed a prized possession in their play. there is no pride</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>though she has trained, though she is now a knight, though she had undergone the rites of a paladin, she still lacked worth</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>how dim then, her light must be</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>decades pass</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the child is a woman. the child is a knight, a paladin, an heiress</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>a fool .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her sister has long left, found a love, found a family, absconded the name seaandra long chased after. how she longs for that feeling, to fit somewhere, to truly belong, to find such contentment even after such judgement</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>seaandra looks to her left. the love of her life is beside her. he smiles, but he too, feels the weight. weaker, unworthy of their noble name, yet both begrudgingly given the roles to fulfill as their siblings fail the initial step</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she locks her hand with his, and feels his cold fingers find warmth</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but she cannot smile .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her father lies on the ground, bleeding out. her mother cries out for her help, and seaandra rushes to them. an assailant had struck down lord sunblade, a powerful man, caught off guard for just a precious hair of a second. the legacy he carries bleeds in his blood, and it spills to the floor as he realizes true pain</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her mother cries — ‘ heal him, please! you know the Light, you can save him, there is time! ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she looks down at her father, her hands slick with his blood. he meets her gaze, and his eyes are cold, still judging, still malicious. even at death’s door, she can sense he still held disdain, that even when he needs her most, he did not trust her</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it would be so easy too. to call on the Light, to seal the wound and get proper help, to buy him time, and spare his life</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ stop staring, brat, and *do something* ’ he snarls, and if she had any shred of compassion left for this blood relative, it was now diminished</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she calls upon the Light</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she leans down to whisper in his ear</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and for the first time, she finally saw new emotion in his eyes</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the Light sears him from the inside, and she carries the mantle .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her mother was never gentle</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>passive, quiet she always was. willing to let her daughters bear the brunt of neglect and abuse. never one to step in and save them, or at the very least, comfort them</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>now, the woman never forgives seaandra</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>knight child pretends not to care, for what does she have to care for? the bane of her existence is dead, and she is free</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>yet why can she not shake off this feeling? this feeling, this *need* to belong, to prove herself?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her mother’s eyes are cold, and filled with hate. seaandra’s armor shines bright, but the years dust and scratch it, as does the judgement</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>unworthy, still. imposter lady — your mantle is a joke. you are no sunblade</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she has everything</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the name, the role, the blade, a love, a home — but she cannot smile</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she rusts, slowly, from disuse. the years weigh on her heavily, while her sister now raises three children in a humble home filled with smiles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the sunblades do not smile at seaandra. her mother reminds her that she has no love to offer</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her love squeezes her hand. ‘ i’m here , ’ he says, but she doesn’t deserve it, she’s never earned it</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she rusts. there is nothing left for her to give</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. shindu fallah na</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the stench of death assaults her</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it is inescapable, unmistakable</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*‘ shindu fallah na ! ‘* they cry. the crown prince of lordaeron had come to erase everything in sight</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>seaandra’s eyes glimmer. death was inbound, but she now had something to do, something she could help with, something she could give</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>a knight that rusts is no knight at all. she suits up, she brandishes the sunblade, prepares her hawkstrider, and sets her mind on the blighted land in the south</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ my love! please, you’ll die! ’ she hears her love shout, tears in his eyes as he begs for her to stay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ what’s one life, if i can save ten? twenty? or even just two, if that’s all i can manage? ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he grasps her arm, as though to pull her from her mount. ‘ we have time, we can run, we can survive, and help those on our way to safety. you needn’t sacrifice yourself! ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she looks to the distance, where the undead approach. ‘ let me have this, let me make my life mean something before it’s gone. ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she raises her hand, and he knows only darkness. better to drag him to safety, unconscious, and away from her, than for him to be awake, knowing that she will die.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>yellow tulips often represent love.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>they’re cheerful and bright, they mean perfect love. hope, even.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it’s ironic, really.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she can’t feel her right arm anymore, and her sword is gone, and the noise is loud, the smell burns her nose, and there’s too many, there’s so many.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>as she falls to the ground, landing on the yellow tulips, she recalls minerva’s lessons on flowers. ‘ long ago, these tulips had a less cheerful meaning. humans used to say they represented hopelessness and jealousy, ’ the memory plays, as one, two, four, seven ghouls rush towards her form. ‘ nowadays, they say planting yellow tulips can bring you good luck and prosperity. they guarantee a smile on your face! ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>a ghoulish claw shreds her right cheek. she has given up fighting it. she lets it happen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she evacuated three houses before she fell. that, she feels, is victory enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>with the sunblade discarded, her golden armor destroyed, and her flesh torn asunder, she almost smiles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she dies free.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>FIRE.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>there is nothing but FIRE when she awakens</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>collapsed lungs fill with smoke and the stench of death and burning corpses and blight and —</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>there is FIRE.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fire, it surrounds her</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she barely registers the necromancers hauling the corpses of her fallen brethren. the ghouls feasting and the rejected subjects. another paladin beside her breathes new air into dead lungs. she is not alone, as the necromancer sews her arm back on</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>pain, fear, panic, it all washes over her. everything is too intense, it’s too much, it’s too much, and there is fire, and there is death, and she lost, they’ve lost, the land is blighted and everyone is dead, and there is FIRE, and her arm, her face, her body, her life, it’s - it’s —</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>`all that i am… anger, cruelty, vengeance…`</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the crown prince is now king, and she bends the knee.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>those pearly whites in her gums where not for decoration.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>these muscles built for the Light, for faith, for the sunblades, they were not for show.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>these skills in weapons, in magic, in tactics and strategy, they were not party tricks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the anger, the rage, the sadness and grief, the loneliness and needs, they were not just stories.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she looks up at the other death knights who outranked her, and they give her a task. she grins - she’s happy to please. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>a part of her knows, *knows* that she breaks her code, when she rides out and slaughters, when she feasts. it cries out when her axe cleaves through the innocent living</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but it’s easy to ignore when she returns to her commanders, reports her deeds, and they *smile* at her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ excellent job ’ they tell her, and they mean it, she knows it. ‘ we knew you were the best for it. we have more for you to do, death knight . ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>a new feeling swells in her chest, where her unbeating heart rests.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*pride.*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’s worth something now, to someone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she learned how to silence that voice that begged her to stop. the voice of her old self, the voice that wishes to defy her new king - at first, it was agonizing, but eventually, it subsided to agitation, then annoyance, and hinderance. she listened to it a final time, only, when she managed to return to quel’thalas, eyes burning with lichfire and armed with her greataxe, and she allowed her true self to take the reins, storm the manor, find her mother, and… and… —</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the remnants of her past are complete. the voice has no place anymore. all ties are severed. the sunblade is gone, seaandra is dead, the manor is destroyed, her mother is gone, her sister —</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~~(oh child, did you forget? how you slipped, forgot your voice, how your servitude landed a blade held by your hands, into your sister’s flesh? did you forget, how you nearly killed your nieces in your visit? did you forget?)~~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it’s gone, it’s GONE and FINISHED. her old life is nothing - she is undead. she is unstoppable, powerful, a killing machine, and the blue of snow and lichfire, and the red of blood suits her better than dresses and decorations</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it’s silenced, for a long while, until it screams again, in icecrown</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the sunfury seek to stop the scourge, and they should have known better. the sunwell was destroyed, seaandra was there to see it, and if quel’thalas had fallen, and her people were nearly wiped out - she had even wondered, idly, if perhaps the elven death knights now outnumbered the living elves left. the sunfury were doomed to fail, and she would be instrumental in making this a fact</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she feels nothing when her axe cleaves through the mages. at least, mostly nothing. every kill she garners is another approval, another praise, and she needs it, she *needs* to hear it</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but the voice screams, and her blade stops without thinking, and it hovers just over a familiar face</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*dana’thor.*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ seaandra? ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>his voice, it’s his, and she hears it, and suddenly, she forgets who she is, forgets that she is dead, forgets the pain and the servitude, the lich king’s voice in her head, she forgets it all and she *stares*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>why here? why here?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she tries to speak, but her voice had forgotten how to form words beyond snarling and cackling. he lived, he lived and he’s here, he lived and he found her, and suddenly, he forgets who he is too, and why he’s there, only thinking about how he’d finally found her</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ i thought i lost you, ’ they both say, like souls that were meant to be one. he drops his staff, and he caresses her destroyed cheek, and she leans into the touch. the death knights and sunfury are still slaughtering each other around them</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ i missed you so much, ’ he says, tears in his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she stops thinking. the voice in her head disappears, or it morphs into a new one, she doesn’t know.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her blade rams through his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ you don’t have to miss me anymore. ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*‘ san’layn ’* they call them. the meaning of the word is at the tip of her tongue, an old lesson minerva taught her long ago, fading away to distant memory</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she almost wonders if minerva was still alive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>they have new tasks. seaandra eventually forgets what any of them are, and knows only that she’s been completing them exceptionally well, and that her reflection in the water is unrecognizable, scarred and blood caked on her face and armor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ you’re a worthy champion, you serve us well. ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and now, she could share this feeling with her love. together, forever.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the blood they share is immeasurable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her memory fails her more and more. she earns a reputation for her unpredictable fits of violence and unprompted laughter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ the blue hyena ’ some liked to call her</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>most avoid her. she was too dangerous, but a valuable asset.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>just laugh with her. it increases your chances of survival</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. liberation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>one day, she’s free.</span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>truly, actually free.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the knights of the ebon blade often repeat to her what happened. she cannot remember it for herself. she does not know why.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the absence of the lich king’s voice is loud, and she finds herself uneasy, antsy, paranoid, hysterical - her head was empty, and she needed something to do.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the hunger was worse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she needed to kill.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>while dana’thor grappled with his undeath, and his undying thirst, contemplating what it meant to be san’layn, seaandra ventured into the woods, into any settlement she could find, and she reaped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>neither horde nor alliance wanted her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ are we forever cursed as monsters? ’ dana’thor asks, as seaandra returns to him, eyes glazed over, satisfied from another atrocity. ‘ we’re free from his grasp, but will we ever be free from our sins? ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>sins? She’d forgotten the word existed. she knows only, that she is hungry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it gets easier with time. eventually, seaandra tries to find her sister. she wonders if she’s alive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~~(oh, did you forget?)~~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>when she finds her, she’s nearly smited on the spot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her nieces fear her</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her sister fears her</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>those eyes are cold, judgemental, harsh, scared - and while they look just like hers, she can only remember her father’s gaze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>suddenly, seaandra understands what she’s become.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ i am a monster. ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ you were a paladin. ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ but i still hunger, and i’ve killed so many thus far. ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ so have i. so has everyone. we can move on, and we can heal. ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ we have no home to return to. ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ my love, as long as we have each other, we *are* home. ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>they call themselves blood elves now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>they also call themselves horde.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it’s funny, really, how seaandra died alliance and returns as horde. the words are foreign on her tongue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but neither faction wants her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she has no place, no home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her and dana’thor attempt to rebuild. They find places here and there, to build a new house, to find a new normal, and have a place to put their stuff.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>each time one is built, someone comes and tears it down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she can never find the assailant.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she’s on her knees, and she’s sobbing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ i don’t remember, i don’t, but i’m sorry, i’m so sorry! ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she’s still hungry, and suddenly, the sobs turn into laughs. she can’t help it, but she’s laughing, and she can’t make it stop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>neo’la is only horrified, for how can her sister laugh at her, when faced with the truth that she’d nearly murdered her?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ i’m trying to get better, i’m going to get better, i’m in control now, and i’ll earn your forgiveness! i’ll prove it to you, i will! ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the child still yearns for acceptance. for approval. for forgiveness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>perhaps it was a lie. Killing is still fun, still enjoyable, and it sates her, she needs it. she is an instrument of destruction, and she loves every second of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she begins to think there is no saving her. she is a monster, and must embrace it. she feels sorry for her husband, who takes now upon alchemy to find a cure for their curse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but maybe she actually likes being undead? perhaps it’s not so bad to be the monster.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>stories are more fun when there’s a monster to be had.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. cataclysm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the land is torn asunder. something about a dragon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she’s riding across durotar, reveling in the ruins, looking for something to pick at. she looks to the vultures for guidance, and competes with them to find something, anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but to find a destroyed cottage, and a little girl trapped under rubble wasn’t what she had anticipated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the girl is maybe five, and her parents are dead, and her leg is stuck, and she’s trapped and helpless, and she has only hours before she’ll expire. she cries out, and a death knight on a pale horse is who rides up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>something changes in seaandra when she sees her. she can’t articulate what.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she scoops up the child, and she brings her to orgrimmar.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the girl’s name is Tara.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the matron takes care of her, bitterly. most were still unaccustomed to the death knights, and this one was hardly pleased to see the death knight haul in an orcling clinging to life</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>seaandra is happy that the girl is safe now, but she cannot shake this feeling that she must do more. she must do *more*.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>when she returns to dana’thor, she demands: ‘ i want a house. ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ why of course — ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ and i want a daughter. ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he stares at her. ‘ we cannot. ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ you CANNOT. ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the matron lists each disqualifying feature about seaandra, about why she cannot adopt Tara</span>
</p><p> </p><ul>
<li><span> you have no house</span></li>
<li><span> you are undead</span></li>
<li><span> you know nothing about orclings (really, it’s, ‘you’re an elf’)</span></li>
<li><span> you are mentally unstable</span></li>
<li><span> you have no income</span></li>
</ul><p> </p><p>
  <span>seaandra takes this as a ‘to-do list’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she will prove herself worthy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she remembers when the ranger-general fell. she was on the same path, and died within the same hour she did</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the banshee queen knew the same pain seaandra did. the banshee queen knew this curse better than any</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>while the rest of the world rejects seaandra, she turns to the forsaken, and realizes she has a home with them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she looks to her new tabard, and a grin spreads across her face. she looks to the other deathguard beside her at brill, wearing an identical tabard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ look here! ’ she says, pointing to the crest. a feminine face, cracked and broken at the right side. she points to her damaged cheek, clawed by a ghoul on the same side. ‘ i match! ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she wants to fit in, and she wants to belong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>the banshee queen says ‘ go to war ’ and she will pick up the nearest weapon</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the forsaken are a little different than she, they suffer a different variant of undeath that seaandra will not understand, but it’s the closest she’ll get</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she knows, intimately, the pain of the banshee queen. and for this reason, she is loyal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>dana’thor and she hitch a house, finally, in silverpine forest. It’s halfway built, and it is nice, and takes inspiration from the forsaken architecture. one day, seaandra muses, she will have a dog too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~~(later, though, this ‘dog’ would end up being a two-headed demonic hound. sometimes things end up better than you anticipate)~~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she stands post at brill as a guard. she stands out like a sore thumb, with her flesh mostly intact, eyes lichfire and ear pointy (her right ear was mostly torn off at this point) but it’s a job, and it keeps her occupied</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the hunger becomes easier to manage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it’s after neo’la becomes a widow, so suddenly, that seaandra manages to get back to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her sister mourns. it no longer matters if neo’la hates her - she will be there, and she will help her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>so, she does. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she visits, she cares for her nieces, she brings them what resources she has, and she reminds her sister that she is not alone, and that she is still capable of loving and caring for her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>neo’la, slowly, learns to forgive her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ you cannot care for a child! ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the matron berates her, on children’s week, no less. Tara walks with crutches, and still hadn’t been adopted, and neither had many of the other children who were there when seaandra first dropped her off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ i have a house, a job, and i am learning your culture! ’ seaandra argues. ‘ no one else has come to claim the girl, to care for her as i will. ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ someone will, and whoever it is, they will have a beating heart, their mind unbroken. no monster is gentle enough to care for a child. ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the banshee queen says jump, you jump. if she says smile, you smile. if she says kill, you kill.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fight in gilneas, claim this land, drive out the dogs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>seaandra raises her axes, rides atop her horse, and fulfills her duty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it’s fun, it’s satisfying, it sates her hunger and gives her a place to belong, proves her loyalty. the blood is beautiful, and it’s delicious, and seaandra is more than happy to comply.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>until she realizes what she’s doing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the undead ravage the land, storming the houses and killing the worgen. seaandra enjoys it. she bursts down the door to a small home, ready to swing -</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>a mother, cradling her child, crying, hiding beneath a table. seaandra hesitates, and something new in her changes again. she’d seen this before, she’d seen this happen before, seeing a death knight burst in to kill anything in its sight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>a young worgen warrior runs in, puts herself between undead and civilian, raising her weapon and snarling. the worgen before seaandra defends, but seaandra doesn’t see the worgen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she sees herself, alive, in brilliant colors, standing to defend civilians from the scourge</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she was here once before, and now, she was the undead seeking to destroy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she does not strike to kill.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the worgen takes her chance, and battles her. but this fight, it is nothing. seaandra can end her, but she doesn’t. she is capable, but she won’t</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>they repeated now the same tango quel’thalas had with the scourge. what difference is there now? different people, different banner, different culture, same massacre, but now, seaandra was on the wrong side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she abandons the battle, abandons her runed axes, and abandons her tabard</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she does not belong here.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. the mists</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>they call the new land ‘pandaria.’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>bear folk, mystical powers, and as always, red and blue carving holes on a beautiful canvas, the art of scenery butchered by blood and blades</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>seaandra does not care for it. she pretends instead to focus on her job, to try to piece together whom she is loyal to, to build her home and find the assailants who seek to sabotage her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but her sister, she mourns still, and orgrimmar is not the same anymore. thrall is long gone, and hellscream’s rein changes the streets.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her sister wasn’t safe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she ventures to pandaria when she learns her sister moved there in search of a new pace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but this land, it feeds off horrible energy. seaandra has to go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the land is beautiful. so much more than she could have imagined.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she’s distracted, momentarily, by the people who need aid, by the fantasy and the peace, the beauty and the love.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she hadn’t witnessed such a community in so long.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the pandaren preached patience and kindness and balance, and they kept themselves in check, kept the sha at bay. something so horrible, something that twists emotions, and they could control it, and live at peace, and never fear war or bloodshed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she longs for it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she forgets, for a moment, who needs her most.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he calls her ‘champion’.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>champion of the black prince.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it’s nice, she thinks, to be part of something greater. to aid in these endeavors, to help the last of his kind, to heed the warnings of the burning legion, and to hear his strange opinions on things</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she learns to meditate on these lessons</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>everything comes together so well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*champion* - what a nice ring.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the sha does not affect her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she thought it did, at first, but the only voices and mania and chaos she felt were the ones already seeded within her. her chaos is her own, and not the sha. the sha could not do any more damage to her, than what she can already inflict.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>undeath has its perks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but the living, their emotions are affected, and they *suffer* for it, they suffer</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>despair, grief, anger, these sha were dangerous most to her family.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her nieces had one day suddenly seized the death knight by her arms. ‘ tia, please, please come help her! ’ they cried out. ‘ she’s lost, she’s lost, please bring her back! ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>there is nothing more that needs to be said. she rides out into the forest, and follows the sounds of destruction.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>valley of four winds, is where she finds her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>dripping with shadow, her hair and eyes painted black, white wisps dancing at her robes, dark magic spewing everywhere, and many, many dead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>seaandra arrives with a group of others, armed and ready. they could not talk the priestess down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ neo’la, stand down! ’ seaandra attempts to reason, but such request was met with a blast of magic at her allies.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her nieces stand by. they watch as the battle ensues.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>when the battle is done, three had died, the colors in the land were gone, the rest of the allies left, and neo’la’s form lay crumpled on the ground, free of corruption, and from breath of life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>daughters kneel by their mother, silent, mourning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>a face identical to hers, unscarred, but still, unmoving, it… does something to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>something new stirs in seaandra.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the death knight was once a paladin, and though her armor no longer shines, she still knows Light, still knows love, still knows the power and the words and the warmth — she is dead and cursed, but she is still, still, a paladin</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she drops to her knees at the ground.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she calls for the Light.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it erupts around her, it smelts her from the inside, it burns and rejects her nature, but her faith is strong, she is one with the Light, as she was always meant to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her vision nearly fades, strength nearly disappears, mangled soul nearly departs, but it works.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the corrupted victim awakens, a sudden breath of life, of true, Light given life, but before she could come to her senses, seaandra leaves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she takes to her horse, and she abandons the emotion, and seeks out a place to die instead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her sister does not need to know what she did. believe only, that her paladin daughter, had been the one to bring her back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>no one needs to know.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>time is irrelevant, but much of it passed in isolation. she did not die, she survived and recuperated, and knows two things now:</span>
</p><p> </p><ol>
<li><span> the Light still loves her</span></li>
<li><span> her sister still lives</span></li>
</ol><p> </p><p>
  <span>her nieces sent her letters, pleading for her return, to explain to their mother that she had brought her back, and had not abandoned her. seaandra ignores them. it’s better this way to be hated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her house is quite complete now, and she’s caught her assailants who sought to destroy her house. *dawnstrider* - a rival, an enemy of old, and unfortunately, her brother-in-law.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>for long years, the man had sent his goons to kill her and dana’thor. he could not bear the idea of their undeath, and could not forgive that she had killed his baby brother.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he seeks often, to kill them both.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>then neo’la.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>then her daughters.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>everyone. every last one of them, for wronging him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she is not surprised. after all, it was viridiel dawnstrider, who had struck down lord sunblade.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ i will find us a cure, i’m close i know it! ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she’s heard these words now for years. dana’thor worked tirelessly, researching every field he could get, mixing potion after potion, dealing in herbs and chemicals and exchanging notes - there were days he would spend experimenting on himself to eliminate the hunger the undead face</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ i know you will . ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it’s the first time she tells him that, because for the first time, she actually believes him. perhaps, there is hope, perhaps this is possible. she needs it to be. they can be saved.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ i’m close to the cure, i just need a final ingredient. ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it’s the last thing he tells her before he disappears to his lab, and a day later she hears a horrible cacophony of destruction, chemicals wrong, glass shattering, and the san’layn —</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he is broken, in more ways than one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it becomes obsession, redemption does.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she was a paladin, a knight in shining armor. she wants to shine again, to prove herself, that she is still good, still intact through and through. she is cursed, though, ruined, so many things taken away from her so early. never the proper chance to live her life. but she is no monster - she simply *cannot* be a monster.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>when dana’thor pushed for a cure, she rejected it. but now, somewhere along the way, she found hope again. there’s more to this, more to everything, more to a second life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he sits idly in his chair, face bandaged, eyes gone, and he is unmoving. he has not left the seat in three days.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ my dear, you came very close, i could taste it in the air, ’ she tries to comfort.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he moves, finally, and makes not to show his fangs. ‘ those were only chemicals burning your nostrils. there is nothing more we can do than to accept what we are. ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he stays there for several more days.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. dawn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>a new war every year</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>do the living never tire?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>every year, it’s more blood, more death. next year, there will be a new war, and new things to be mad at. time will eventually blur them all together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>what’s one more war?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she tries, she tries to avoid it all. but her sister is drafted, the dark portal bleeds red, her nieces left alone, and there’s more chaos to sow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>dawn begins, and an enemy resurfaces</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>suddenly, so much is on the line.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her nieces, once again without their mother. her husband, glazed and left in a trance, a war raging and tearing the timelines, and viridiel *dares* show his face to demand his ‘ revenge ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the squabbles of those in power are tiring.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the eldest niece, ronae, goes missing, and seaandra snaps.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>her mother is gone, her home is under siege, the world is at war, and now, the child she took into her care is *missing*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the matron’s words ring back to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she finds herself in silvermoon with the youngest niece, aliya. they approach the blood knights, they speak with those around - ronae was a promising initiate, a prodigy - and seaandra is faced with her teacher, a champion</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Azaera Daybrook, they call her</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she still gets no answers, no clues to where ronae is, and she snaps, she breaks, she lashes out, she decides to be a monster again, to destroy and allow her impulses to rage, to tear apart everything that ever dared to wrong her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but child, this is a place of Light, and azaera is a champion who towers over you in more ways than one</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>seaandra strikes, and she remembers what the Light feels like on flesh like hers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ don’t do this, sunblade, ’ the champion warns, kneeling beside her. ‘ you’re not a monster, and never were. you’re a hero having a bad day. keep your head, and help will come. ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*hero*.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>that’s a funny word for this creature.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but after talking, after planning and piecing together evidence, of searching for a way to communicate with neo’la, of connecting with blood knights on this new draenor, of finding ronae’s traces and viridiel’s sinister plans - seaandra realizes what azaera means.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it’s a memory. one faded, blurred in tulips and flames.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>a fearful woman, hiding under the table, cradling a young boy, looking up as death knights aim to ravage their land and slaughter the elves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she remembers charging into the house and parrying that strike with the sunblade. she remembers killing the undead, evacuating the mother and her child, and now, as she looks to azaera, she remembers now, her face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she knows now, why the champion spared her so much patience.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*hero.*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>suddenly, the world was slightly less dark.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>dana’thor goes missing next.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she’s glad her heart stopped beating long ago, for it would have surely stopped now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>more and more questions are raised. the more answers they gather, the longer they spend, the more dire the situation becomes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but she feels hope, strangely enough. in such a dark time like this, she feels hope. like she cannot lose.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she has never felt this way before, and doesn’t know what to do with the emotion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>zenith phoenix, a family friend and blood knight, reports to she and azaera, bearing pictures gathered from draenor. needed evidence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>seaandra cannot believe her eyes. *lighttreader*, alive. If he’s there, then neo’la is there too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but why does he live? he was thought dead years ago, and he turns up on another planet —</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but that does not matter. draenor is too far, a more distant goal. the immediate was finding ronae, and then dana’thor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>zenith brought vital evidence on this front too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>dawnstrider manor, a massive, arcane sealed territory tucked away in the mountains of hillsbrad and the interlands. here, he conducted his wicked deeds in this base, paying off mercenaries to do his dirty work.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it’s here, that she theorizes the missing may be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she thirsts for blood, and is more than ready to storm the manor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>seaandra’s memory fails her again, but this time, she has support.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she cannot remember most of the planning that went into this excursion, but she knows that she came armored, with blood knights, with aliya, zenith and azaera, and that the sunblade was back in her hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the mansion, the base, it was expensive and far too much than a single man needed. all the riches of his family name, wasted to rage and vengeance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>ronae was already enacting her own escape plan as they arrived. they found dana’thor after the halls were painted with blood, and he was more than happy to have something to sate his own thirst after weeks of starvation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but soon enough, the mercenaries are slaughtered, those dawnstrider tabards destroyed, and victory is theirs</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>lord viridiel dawnstrider is a cornered animal, teeth bared as the encircle him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘ you are defeated, surrender now, or your death will be bloody. ’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>there’s a joy, in seeing him beaten, stripped of power and cowering as only a man, and nothing more. the sight alone could sustain her for another year.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but in his rage, he looks up, and suddenly, he grins, an idea sparking into his mind, and before they can register the change in his expression and the meaning behind it, he had called down his dragonhawk, the animal’s frilly wings covering him completely, great head craning to breathe fire on the group.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the spark of the flame shreds the death knight. not physically, no, they managed to yank her out of the way. but the sight of it… she could not move. she was back in the field of rotting tulips, her arm stitched back on, necromancers and corpses everywhere —</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>by the time she snaps out of it, he’s gone, and the base was mostly destroyed, but empty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>they won.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she decides to keep this new territory for a rainy day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>x </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>there’s no correct way, really, to measure time after the incident. ronae heals, dana’thor as well (save for requiring a new set of hands - someone was unkind and unfair to him in his imprisonment) and now, the blood knights worked to bring her sister home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the war ends, and seaandra hears tales that make her head hurt. at the very least, hellscream was dead, and her sister is home, as is *her* husband as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but alas, that was a story for another time. sometimes, things do not need to make sense. they just need happy endings.</span>
</p>
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